Just Because It Says 'Malfoy'
by Snuffles4Eva
Summary: 'Dear James, I can't believe we're doing this. Writing letters. Hello? It's for girls. Sorry to crush your dreams mate, but hey, I'm a Malfoy. It's what we do best.'
1. Honestly Writing Letters?

**Just Because It Says 'Malfoy'…**

**By **

**Snuffles4Eva**

**A/N: I thought I'd try some Rose/Scorpius for a change. Yeah, not what it looks like in this chapter I know, but, trust me – It will get there… I do like a good romance. **

**Don't prejudice. You know you do too.**

**Shutting up now, because y'all think I'm crazy (You're probably right actually; but that's off topic)**

**Ok, just the: **

**Disclaimer: Seriously, is not where I'd be if I owned this stuff. I'd just browse it for laughs.**

**Enjoy! - Snuffles4Eva**

Dear James,

I can't believe we're doing this. Writing letters. Hello? It's for girls. And possibly those who are slightly camp…

But we're off topic. What did you want to write about? Some sappy 'happy holidays' rubbish? 'Cos that's not gonna happen. Sorry to crush your dreams mate, but hey, I'm a Malfoy. It's what we do best.

Really though? Letters? I'm not Rose. I don't have the brains of Einstein and the outrageous hair to go with it. I'm just another typical guy, who looks like an albino. I don't have brains (let alone the hair… or the moustache, come to think of it); I didn't discover the speed of sound, or something like that. Nope. Just a regular Joe. That's me.

Still, I guess it's just common courtesy to ask you how your holidays have been. So, how've your holidays been?

There we go, the pleasantries are over. Glad that's done.

Now I'm supposed to tell you about mine, but frankly, I can't be bothered to say anything about the torture I'm currently enduring, so you're not going to. Simple as.

There we go, enough torture and despair for one day. Do you realise what you're doing to me?

Actually scratch that. You do know what you're doing to me. Sadistic mongrel.

With my, oh so well wishes,

Your Friend (yeah, we've really got to do something about that),

Scor

….

Dear Scor,

Everybody writes letters. Not just nerds. EVERYBODY. At least everybody cool. My Dad wrote them to my Mum.

And, yes, my dad is cool. I can practically here you scoffing over there. Just remember – my dad is the saviour of the Wizarding world. You know, my dad, Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Chosen-One, Man-Who-Defeated, and that long list of names…

And who are you? Oh yes, I remember you describing yourself. 'Malfoy, Crusher-Of-Dreams, Typical-Guy, Albino, Wannabe-Lover-To-My-Cousin', yeah, that's you in a nutshell mate.

Oh, and my holidays have been pleasant, thanks. See, now that wasn't so hard, was it? Just talking about our holidays, and you make it seem as though I'm asking you to Crucio yourself. Honestly, what a drama queen (And you say I'm the girl).

Torture. Really mate? You poor child. I'll even stretch to didums.

Scor, your life is anything but torture. Try living here with a mum and dad like mine – 15 years after the honeymoon, and they still act like newlyweds… Trust me; I have the ear muffs to prove it.

But 'sadistic mongrel'? Honestly? Going a bit far, aren't we? Admit it – I'm not that bad. You secretly love this letter thing we've got going on, and am dying to hear from me (although not as much as you're dying to hear from a certain somebody else we all know..). And, just to clarify, you were the one who sent the first letter, weren't you? Hmm?

Sending this now so your aching heart won't have to wait much longer,

Friends,

James

….

**A/N: Like it? Hate it? Want it to burn in flames forever? Give up or carry on? The power is in your hands… Vote now with that little button below called 'The Review Box'! A wonderful invention by the creators of . Just click on the little button below and type your thoughts and we will get back to you as soon as possible! Thank you for playing 'Judge this fanfic'. That's all folks! **

**Snuffles4Eva**


	2. Help! I've Had An Epiphany!

**Just Because It Says 'Malfoy'**

**By **

**Snuffles4Eva**

**A/N: Here I am again, and surprisingly early for me, yes, I know. **

**Oh, and if all you lovely people out there love reading a little bit of Twilight (C'mon.. You know you do really), then check out my friend filmloverxo, who's written a really great twilight fanfic… Go check it out!**

**Disclaimer: Again, reminding me of how little I really am. Thanks guys **

….

Dear James,

Didn't I say enough torture? What do I get? ANOTHER letter. Which means I have to reply to it. Yay. Woop Woop. Extra woop.

Can't you take a hint?

LETTERS ARE FOR NERDS. I DON'T WRITE LETTERS.

Yet, lo and behold, who am I writing them for? You. My friend James. A Potter, no less. We're meant to be mortal enemies. But no. We're best friends. Great. I have a letter loving nerd as a best friend.

And the point is that, yes I wrote the first letter, only because YOU mentioned you wanted to 'exchange' them this summer. And me, being the kind, caring, un-Malfoy-ish child I am, decided to grant your wish. Go me.

So, to sate your (apparent) extreme hunger for letters, here it is.

(This is it)

And about your mum and dad… A) Of course I know who your Dad is, our parents are friends, dimbo, and B) I just didn't need to know. I'm fine with them being loving and everything, but that's just taking it too far.. The images in my head… Eww. That's disgusting. Thanks, my 'friend'.

Fancying Hugo? Me? Is that how low you value me? One, I don't sway that way, but even if I was I'd be way out of his league (**A/N: Real life quote! I heard one of my friends say that – well, the female version - to some younger kid we didn't know who asked if she did, but you don't need the details**) and Secondly, a first year? Sorry mate, but that's stretching it a bit far – a bit far being 5 years. Sorry, and as much as I know you would love to have me as a part of your family, it's not going to happen. EVER.

Glad we've sorted that one out.

Wow. Three weeks until we're back at school, and I become Head Boy, and finally have power over you! Hah! Teach you to laugh at my hard working, note taking ways… Actually, I've no idea how I became Head Boy… I guess being the Head of the school must do something to your brain.. Didn't they say whatshisname who was Head master before Minnie was off his rocker? And making me, Scorpius Malfoy, Head Boy? Yes, Minnie's caught it to. I reckon it's the office.

Still, you never know, I could be a natural at the job. Not likely, but possible. I don't suppose you know who's Head Girl do you? I really hope it's not- O MY GOODNESS

James, I've had an epiphany. And I'm in trouble.

But first, you need to tell me who the Head Girl is.

If you know, do not hesitate to tell me. I NEED TO KNOW. IT IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.

Actually, maybe that's taking it a bit far.

Still it is serious. (Not Sirius! Honestly. You'd have thought that whole 'Sirius is my middle name' pun would've worn out by now. Here's an idea – Get Some Better Jokes! Really child. Your uncle owns the best joke chain in the country, and all you've got is 'Sirius is my middle name'. Pathetic. It's almost painful)

All joking aside, I need to know. I might be adding just a smidgeon too much hyperbole in here, but this is serious. It could affect the rest of my life.

A slightly worried, completely on edge,

Scor (Hurry up and tell me!)

….

**A/N: Dun Dun Dun! ****What has Scorpius figured out? Cliffhanger!**

**And you'll not know until I have written and posted the next chapter… Which will be sometime in the next 2 weeks… hopefully.**

**I have to write the next chapter of I Want You Back (My James/Lily fanfic), so the next chapter of this might be a while… Sorry folks!**

**Just a re-iteration of what I mentioned earlier, go check out my friend filmloverxo, for more great stories on things other than Harry Potter, inc. Twilight, Dear John, the Hunger Games etc.**

**Love to all you wonderful people out there, and don't forget to review **

**Snuffles4Eva**


	3. Seriously Auntie Ginny, Learn To Floo

Just Because It Says 'Malfoy'

By

Snuffles4Eva

**A/N: I believe this is within two weeks… Cutting it close though, I know. Don't remind me. But I've had such a hectic few weeks, I've been doing my homework in classes, I walked out of one of them (the class, just to clear any confusion), yep, sorry, but been a bit busy. I'm sure y'all know what I mean.**

**Don't forget what I said last chapter (And on I Want You Back, if any of you follow both. Not likely, I know), go check out Filmloverxo! Go do it! More fanfics await your hungry eyes! Appease them!**

**Disclaimer: Yet another obstacle that lies between you and the writing. You've probably given up already. But, just to frustrate y'all further I am adding the following words: Due to my lack of imaginative brain cells, unfortunately I do not possess the ability to create my own fantasy world, merely; I am frolicking in another's; A Ms J.K Rowling's, to be precise.**

**Finally, you have the chapter – Here it is!**

…**..**

Dear Scor,

Seriously dude, you need to calm down. Chillax. Take a chill pill. Whatever. Just do it. Really, my eyes hurt from reading all those capital letters. Calm it.

Hugo wasn't the one I thought of when I wrote that. Nooo, rather, a certain red-headed young woman, who just happens to catch your eye, quite often I notice. The amount of times you stare at her in class, watching the way her hair glints in the sun, and whatever other soppy things my dad's always telling my mum (the images are created by YOUR brain, I must remind you. I only gave you one small snippet, a peep-hole into what my life is. Pity me mate, pity me.). Lily thinks it's cute. I just think the fact that they got stuck in the honeymoon stage is cringy, and embarrassing. At least you don't have to don ear protectors at night. Lucky.

I can't believe McGonagall let YOU have Head Boy! What was she thinking (not to mention drinking? A pint or two of Ogden's may well have been involved...)? Maybe, like you say, it's the office. And 'whatshisname' is Dumbledore, and don't ever call him 'whatshisname' in front of my father. EVER. He valued this Mr Dumbledore highly. If you know what's good for ya, you'll refer to him as 'Dumbledore' within the house hold and beware – My Dad is the greatest Wizard ever. He defeated Voldemort. And my Mum is the feisty wife he chose (their arguments, although few, are a sight to behold… and after, well, frankly, you don't want to know. Neither do I really, but I am subjected to the torture of just being in my household. Oh! What a world, what a world. – Sorry Muggle reference. You know my dad was brought up as one). She is the only one who can hold her own against him in a duel (except perhaps, maybe Aunt Hermione. My dear cousin's mother, lover boy). And then theres you. LLittle Scorpius Malfoy. Not even out of Hogwarts. You don't stand a chance.

I've got a more important job anyway. I, James Sirius (Nope, never gets old. I know that I am related to the owners of the great Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, but just because I am original doesn't mean you have to scorn my best joke) Potter, am Gryffindor Quidditch Captain. Quidditch is more popular than school, and that gives me a more important job. Entertainment is more important that education. You get bad publicity (or none at all, if you're lucky), and I get good. Sorry to be harsh, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Ok, ok. I can see you seething at me, practically ripping this paper apart by now. So, being the merciful chap I am, I'm going to answer your question. Wait, what was it again? – Let me go check.

Oh yes, got it. Sorry mate, I don't know who the Head Girl is. If I knew, you know I would not hesitate to tell you. Well, maybe a little. But anyway, Scor, I'm really sorry but- Wait. Smudge has just arrived, Aunt Hermione's spare owl (yes, they have a spare owl. You should've seen Mum's face).

Scor, You're In Luck! Look what just arrived! I'll glue it below (a copy of it anyway, I've got to show this to Mum and Dad, and they'll probably want to keep it, and frame it, or something drastic like that).

_Dear James, (and Uncle Harry, Auntie Ginny, Albus and Lily, because I know you're all gonna read this too),_

_You'll never guess what flew in our window today. Well, other than an owl, smarty pants. Actually, you probably will guess, as your Hogwarts' letters will have arrived today as well. Anyway, guess what came in mine! Drum Roll, please… A Head Girl badge! I was so excited – but you should see mum. She's more excited than I am. Dad's…. well Dad, I s'pose. He's just the average, under-excited, old ginger guy he always has been. It's a rather funny mix, I must say. He looks clever-er with his new glasses, but he doesn't like them – It means he can't tease Uncle Harry about his. _

_Speaking of Uncle Harry, mum says that the next time he and Auntie Ginny come round, can they at least shut the door first! I don't know what that means… but I probably don't want to, so let's leave it at that._

_Saying no more before Auntie Ginny gets angry with me and floos over to chase me round the house like she did last time, I just need to ask one thing: Need any more help with your 'problem' James? I told mum about it, and she laughed for 15 minutes straight, before calming enough to get up off the chair and drive me to the nearest Muggle clothes store. We looked like right idiots, carrying _those _around in the middle of summer, and we thought you might too, so we thought these might be a better idea. Mum says they're called 'Headphones'. Apparently you can also play music through them, if you have a special 'Eye' or something like that. I wasn't really listening – give me a break, my mum knows how to lecture. Maybe your Dad will know what this 'eye' thing is, 'cos I really just tuned out._

_Love to y'all, Rose _

_P.S. Oh, and Auntie Ginny, Mum says to learn to floo because last time you got soot on the new carpet (I didn't tell her it was because you lunged out of the fireplace to strangle me, so you owe me one)._

Ok, now I officially know, and can safely say 'Rose Weasley is Head Girl of Hogwarts'. Satisfied?

What's this all in aid of, anyway? 'Life and Death Situation'? Exaggerate much?

Sorry Scor, gotta go, Dad's calling me to help hold Mum back. I really should stop showing her Rose's letters, every time she reads one she seems to want to seriously injure my cousin/love of your life. It's a miracle Rose has lived this long. I don't even get what Mum's so offended about, and by the look on Dad's face, he doesn't either. I reckon it's a girl thing – Lily's in hysterics on the floor…

Write soon,

James

….

**A/N: J'ai fini! Il y a chapitre trois…**

**That's French, just in case y'all were wondering. And if there's any fluent French speaking people, or French people reading this (may I congratulate you on your English skills, they are amazing) if I did get anything wrong, blame it on my terrible French skills, and pity me, because I'm doing French GCSE…**

**Don't forget to review :)**

**Snuffles4Eva**


	4. Smack Your Tum? What?

Just Because It Says 'Malfoy'

By

Snuffles4Eva

**A/N: Just making this clear now, I'm thinking about adding some more characters, and their letters to each other in… But I want to know what YOU think! (Yes, that was cheesy, but I need y'all out there to listen). **

**Seriously though there is a poll out on my profile page, that, if y'all don't mind, then can ya go check it out, and vote for whether I should or not… If I get the overall decision to be yes, then I may make another one, asking you which characters you think I should add in.. **

**So, go vote! **

**Or maybe wait 'til you've read this chapter, but PLEASE VOTE! **

**Pretty please? **

**With a Cherry on top?**

**Disclaimer: Ahhh, my favourite part of the story. ****Oui, je suis stupide. Don't prejudice, 'cos ya know ya can't. **

….

James,

I do wonder why you bother. You should just let your mum g. In fact, give her a helping hand and throw her into the fireplace! Goodness knows Rose needs it.

But I, like you, are of the male species, and are thusly not qualified to understand the female gender, and do not understand why the letter was so amusing… Must be a girl thing.

Still, thanks for letting me know – EVENTUALLY.

Seriously, you need to get to the point! I have to read halfway down your letter, before I even come up to just an answer to my question! And even then it's the wrong one! And it's not until almost the very end that I get the answer I was searching for! Honestly child, sort out your life.

Rose Weasley, huh? Well, she'll be… er… Interesting to work with… I s'pose we'll have to get along. I don't know, you see, because I never really talk to her properly, it's just courteous chat. I'm looking forward to getting to know her though, what with your descriptions. Her mother's smarts, her families' trademark red hair, and her Auntie's temper – oh yes, this is gonna be one interesting year.

Well, I'm glad its Rose. For all I knew from the info I got, it could have been someone drastic like Primrose Bulstrode (Yeah, gee, thanks McGonagall). Urgh. I'm getting shivers just thinking about it.

Quidditch Captain, yes? Well, we can safely say that Gryffindor's lost this year. I hope, for your sake, that the teams' better than you were last year, otherwise you _definitely_ are going to lose. And as much as I want you to lose, I don't want you to completely fail epic-ly. I'm not that mean. I do care. Not much, like, but a little. Just enough to not want you to make a complete fool of yourself in front of the whole school.

I don't really know what else to say now. I suppose that I could wish you a good week, or to whenever I next owl, but, once again, I'm a Malfoy. We don't do nice.

Sincerely Scor (Do you think I should start using my full name now I'm Head Boy?)

Oh, and P.S Dad says to ask your Dad a question (Why he can't just owl himself I don't know. Oh, there's the answer _'You're already Owling. There's no point making Shot _ and _Midnight both go to the same house, when Shot can just take your letter, which contains my question, blah blah blah' _Yeah, I stopped listening there.). Anyway, the question is… Do you want to meet up in Diagon Alley? (How anti-climactic). Just Owl, with your answer. Preferably ask your parents first, though. If ya don't want to, then that's ok, but we haven't seen you in a while, and our families are friends now. So, it'd be nice to see you, but if you're busy, that's ok.

If you do come though, Dad says we'll treat you to lunch at The Leaky Cauldron. What d'ya say?

Looking forward to your reply, and saying 'bye' now, before I get another- Hold up, there's mum.

Mum says that if you have any…. Boxes? Let me go check that.

Yep, boxes. So, if you have any, er… could we have them? Don't know why, just mum says so.

Oh now she's saying something else (Not surprising, really).

It sounds like 'Smack your tum'… What?

Ohhhh… Sorry, It's 'Ask Your Mum'… My bad, sorry.

Ok, Before I make even more of a fool of myself, I'm going to go. NO ANNA! I'M NOT PASSING LILY A MESSAGE!

See ya, mate

Scor

….

**IMPORTANT NOTICE! READ FOR POLL INFORMATION!**

**A/N: Soooo, now you've read it, GO VOTE! It's on my profile page! (I've two, so don't mix them up… Unless you'd like to vote for both, then go ahead!). **

**But for those who didn't read the above A/N, I've got a poll open, so go check it out! If I get enough yes' I will open another, following the results of this one. **

**Or just leave it in a review (hint hint!)**

**Hope you enjoy! – Snuffles4Eva**


	5. Roll up, Roll up, Vote Now!

Just Because It Says 'Malfoy'

By

Snuffles4Eva

**A/N: I plan to include the results of the poll in the chapter following this, but I need at least 20 people's opinions for me to just write the new chapter, as the next chapter is kinda key to where the plot is going (for me anyway). After the first poll, if the majority vote 'no', I will carry on where I left off. If the majority vote yes, I will then ask you which people I should include (You can vote for as many as you would wish, but the characters who get the most votes will be worked into it more). If I do not get 20 people by the end of December, then I will write a filler chapter. The poll will be closed by the end of January at the latest (If I get more than 20 people it will be closed at the end of December). I will then start up another poll, where you can vote for who you would like me to include more… Ok with y'all?**

**I know y'all can do it – I've only had one vote so far, but I s'pose I must give y'all time.**

**Remember – You will not get the next chapter until the poll is closed, or at the end of December, so VOTE! If you want the next chapter, VOTE!**

**Eagerly awaiting to see the results of this poll (I've put it on a blind poll, so y'all can be surprised… Was that mean? Sorry y'all), and hoping y'all' see me through, Snuffles4Eva**


	6. I'm Gonna Kill Her!

Just Because It Says 'Malfoy'

By

Snuffles4Eva

**A/N: Guys, this is a filler, as I still need 11 votes. C'mon people. I get 67 people viewing Ch. 5, but only 7 bother to vote, and 2 tell me in a review? That's not really that encouraging. Anyway, after this chappie, you won't get another 'til the end of Jan or 'til another 11 people vote. **

**Thank you to ALIASTESIN and the guest who answered my poll via review. It is much appreciated!**

**Oh, and about Rose's middle name, I searched and searched for it, but couldn't find one, and so had to make it up. I tried to be realistic, and went with Hermione. Sorry if you think it's not very original. I tried.****  
**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, go back and read the last 4, or use your brains! I'm no J.K; I can barely find the creativity to write these!**

**PLEASE VOTE. I NEED 11 MORE VOTERS. ABOUT 1/6 OF YOU READING THIS. PLEASE.**

...

Scor,

You love Rose really, and I'm sure that you don't wish _that_ fate upon her. Mum can be a handful (Dad can testify to that. In fact, I can. Watching them two… It like, burns your retinas). Last time, she got to Rose, Rose ended up hiding in her room, before Mum burst through, yelling, and throwing hexes everywhere. Rose only just managed to jump through the window, and onto her broom, before she ended up with tentacles, over grown teeth and an oversized purple head. Dad had to go in, and calm her down (Please, do NOT ask how he did that, because judging by the sounds that were coming from the room, and the fact that they apparated straight home, I frankly do not want to know either). Problem was that Aunt Hermione arrived home just as Mum was chasing Rose around the living room, and Mum had to act all innocent, whilst Aunt Hermione chastised her for getting soot on the carpet. Cue in Rose sniggering and smirking, and you've got a pretty furious Mum. It was rather interesting to watch, but we had to _muffliato_ Aunt Hermione as she went into the kitchen, so that she didn't realise Mum was trying to kill her daughter. It was an entertaining afternoon for the rest of us, however.

So really, you wouldn't want Rose to suffer that, would you Romeo? You love her too much. But I did ask Lily why it was so funny. She just shook her head and said 'If you're older than me, you should know better' smirked, and walked off. She's just like Mum, and it's really quite annoying. Dad loves it. He's got Mum, and his daughter's just like her. Brill for him.

Al is just like Dad, right down to the tufts of hair that spike up on his head. Just like Dad loves Lily's spunky Mum-ness, Mum loves Al's Dad-ness.

Me, I'm a mix of the two. With Dad's sticking up hair, and Mum's chocolate brown eyes, my Grandfather's (Potter, not Weasley) talent for pranks, and my Uncle George's sense of humour, I cause Mum and Dad more head-aches than heart-aches I think.

But, hey, you already knew that. Why am I explaining this to you? You know everything already, oh great one (that was sarcastic, if you didn't realise).

I bet you're really looking forward to working with your crush. Sadly I was unavailable for the position of Head Girl (what being a boy, and all), so they asked your next-in-line. And, apparently, she said yes (although I reckon she had little choice, what with Aunt Hermione peering down at the letter, and busting a gut at the contents. No, she didn't really get to even think about 'no'). I suspect she doesn't know whose Head Boy yet, otherwise I reckon you'd be getting an Owl (Don't Open! It's probably a Howler!).

Speaking of Howlers, Mum got one this morning, can you believe it! We were all sat kinda quietly at the table, peacefully eating our breakfast, when Spud (Yes, that was Mum. I think she might have been ill that day…) arrived with the mail. Lily's eagle eye spotted it first, but before she could pick it up, it flew over to Mum, and landed in front of her. She looked at Dad, but all he could do was shrug, as he was clearly trying not to laugh. Mum glared at him, but before she opened her mouth to say something, the Howler kicked in – and what a Howler it was!

It first morphed into the shape of Aunt Hermione, surprising us all, as Howlers have never done that before. Then the Aunt Hermione shaped Howler started yelling at Mum.

'GINEVRA MOLLY POTTER!'

'That's a new one' Dad muttered, as the Howler continued to shout at Mum.

'How dare you barge into my house, and attempt to kill my daughter! Your own niece! How dare you think that is acceptable! And not only did you attempt murder on your own niece, you got soot on my fairly new carpet whilst doing it! Can you not clean up after yourself?'

Mum looked affronted whilst the rest of us probably burst a few blood cells by trying not to laugh. The Howler continued to yell for a while, before it gave us a shock, by now morphing into a hysterically laughing Rose. She calmed down before saying 'A Howler, Aunt Ginny? You really should know better!' And laughing, again, which set the rest of us off.

'Rose Hermione Weasley!'

'Yes, I can almost hear you shouting at me. The good thing about these Howlers is that I Can't!' That was it; we were all gone, including Dad. Nothing makes us laugh more than Mum being outsmarted by Rose.

'No, no, seriously now (Shut up James!), that Howler, was me! Are you not amazed at my brilliance?'

Mum growled.

'I can see it in your face. I know, you're growling at me, your knuckles white from gripping the table so hard, wishing that it is, in fact, my neck…'

Mums hands quickly disappeared from the side of the table.

'... and as soon as this Howler is finished, you will be straight over to our house to chase me once again. Really Aunt Ginny, I never knew you liked me so much!'

Lily sniggered. Mum sent her a death glare.

'But before I meet my untimely death at the hands of my very own blood-relative (that'll make the Prophet. I can see it now- 'Young girl strangled by Auntie – a Harry Potter scandal!'), I must have a little fun, no?'

Dad, er, managed to have a rather large coughing fit with a smile on his face at this point.

'I'm going to take the fact that, in about, hmm, 10 minutes time, shall we say? In about 10 minutes time you (that's all of you; I know y'all come for the show. Sadists, the lot of ya) will come bursting through the fireplace, to strangle me, hex me, generally murder me, I'm gonna take that as a no. Just remember not to get soot on the carpet!' Rose smirked, before carrying on 'You know how mental Mum gets!'

Al sniggered.

'Speaking of Mum, you can thank her later. She came home with these new prototype Howlers a few days ago (Be thankful you're not Dad, because he got one at 3 in the morning the other night, when Mum was in her study late), and I nicked one, and just couldn't resist. I found a couple of cool spells out that helped this thing along (voice changing was an interesting one – perfect prank James, I'll teach you it), wrote it, yelled it, sent it (Oh, I might suggest that one as a selling point – Write it, Yell it, Send it, See it! What d'ya think?), and here it is, if I have calculated the arrival time right, at breakfast where you all can hear it. I'm a genius! (Which is why I'm now going to look up some stronger shield spells in preparation). See you soon Aunt Ginny!' With that Rose finished with a cheeky smile, and the image pooped, and the Howler was sent burning into Mum's bowl of Frosties (Muggle breakfast she's fond of).

'Three, two, one' muttered Lily.

'I'm gonna kill her!' Mum jumped up from the chair and made towards the fireplace.

'Kids block the fireplace! I'll distract your mother!' Dad yelled, and as he said the last sentence, the room went quiet, as Mum stopped screaming for a minute, and we all looked at Dad. Mum looked at Dad, and we three cringed simultaneously. Lucky for us, Lily still had her sharp wit.

'Rose Hermione Weasley' she said simply.

'I'm gonna kill that girl' were the words that started pandemonium in our house. And for the next 15 minutes there were 4 of us against one fiery, fighting red head (I think Dad kinda enjoyed it actually). I'll give you one guess at the hair colour that wins (and it's not Lily).

Yep. It started again. And there was more soot than ever this time. Mum managed to explode their fireplace, from casting a hex too early. I can't wait for that to come back to her. I mean, we cleaned most of it, but Aunt Hermione has impeccable timing. We were just about to clean the hearth…

Just one question for ya, mate: Why was the position of Head Girl so important, it had to be Rose? You never did mention…

See you soon,

James (No, you shouldn't use your full name, 'cos, frankly '_Scorpius_' is freaky enough, without _'Malfoy'_ added on the end).

P.S. I forgot to ask Dad about Diagon Alley, until this morning, and he was too busy trying to hold Mum down. I think he said yes (It was just before Mum grabbed his head, and kissed him ferociously, leaving him a bit dazed. In our disgust, we three had lowered our wands, in favour of looking away and saying 'eww.' That taught us. Mum _Stupefied_ each one of us, so all we could do was watch in vain as Mum finished kissing Dad, and sauntered over to the fireplace, smirking).

And no, after the events of this morning, I did not ask if we had boxes. You can guess why.

Sorry this wasn't much help,

James

…

**A/N: Finite! Yay, as I promised, the end of December. And here it is, 30 Dec. 13. But if you want the next chapter before January 20**_**14**_**, then Vote. Vote now. Go!**

**Hope y'all have a lovely New Year, and wishing you the best for 2014,**

**Snuffles4Eva**


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